How old is John?

What seems like a very simple question, is actually quite complicated.  Truthfully, John is four ages at the same time.  Biologically, his 2^nd birthday is Nov. 22^nd.  So, the easiest answer is that he is two.  However, since he weighs only 16 lbs., for clothing, medicine dosages, car seat, etc. he is a 6-9 month old infant.  Hum…developmentally, we were told he recently started taking 3-4 steps independently before he needs the hand of a nanny to help him across the room.   He doesn’t talk, although it is our understanding that he does make sounds to communicate his desires.   Looking at US age appropriate expectations, John is probably more like a one year old in his development.  Now for the tricky part…the reputable International adoption book that we have been reading, suggests that for the parents, a very important “age” to consider is how long the child has been a part of your family.  They call this “family age”.  The importance of “family age” is that it determines what kind of parenting approach the child needs.  According to research, children do not skip stages.   Since John has not been with our family at all, his age for us is a new born. 

We have no fear that John can’t “catch up” developmentally and physically.    We have read and heard enough testimonies to know that our attention to his needs and getting him the right help will make a world of difference.    And if for some reason, he is not able to “catch up”, we will love him for who he is and for where he is developmentally.  

So, now you will know why we pause when we are asked…”how old is, John?”