The games we like to play...

John found a non-baby proofed drawer in the kitchen and decided to explore.

In order to make more room for himself, he decided to slide all the pans down four steps into the den.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahh...success at last...

Now, to climb in again...

Getting settled...Elaine (John's Grandmother Besonen) said that John's dad Ron also liked to play with pans in her kitchen when he was a baby.  As they say..."like father, like son". 

Dec. 31st..."Who is the 'lucky one'"?

     Standing in the check-out line with John strapped to my body, an older Asian looking woman noticed him.  In trying to get his attention, she got mine instead and I told her a 2-sentence synopsis of John’s story.  She cooed at him a few times and after paying for her purchase, she approached us again.  This time she came close to my ear and said, “he is lucky”; with tears in my eyes, I replied, “we are the “lucky ones”!  

     I had been thinking about this for several weeks – pondering God’s grace to Ron and I by entrusting to us this young Chinese boy.   On the surface it is easy to see how John is “better off” being here with us, getting medical help, nutrition, education, love, nurture, learning about Jesus, etc.    But honestly, I know that Ron and I are also “better off” having this opportunity to be parents to John.    He will teach us much about putting others first, about living as a cross-cultural family, about trusting God for a past we cannot change but a future we can influence.  

     Truth be told, I already love Jesus more because of John…not because He gave me what I wanted (i.e. a child) but more because he has given me this gift in John that I didn’t deserve.   I looked at John napping one day and in tears said out loud…”there is nothing I have done or will do to deserve to be your mother”.    My guess is that every parent feels this to some degree – perhaps I experience the intensity of it due to the fact that I did not physically give birth to John.  

     Another reason that I love Jesus more is that I know that He is going to be the only one who can truly heal John of his wounds of abandonment.   My dear sister-in-law was an abandoned baby in Columbia and adopted at 9 months.  She has bravely walked through with Jesus layers of healing due to her loss of birth parents.   Every person processes the grief and loss of their adoption differently.   However, Jesus knows what John needs and I trust that John will turn to Him for comfort and support when his needs surface.  

     Bottom line is this…what I want the world to know is that we are the “lucky ones” too! 

Christmas pictures....

Ron reading John one of his new books...

John enjoyed Christmas...especially the taste of all his new books...

He had a great time with his Uncle Jaime from San Antonio who taught him to identify his ears...and he loved Uncle Jaime's game of "whose hat is this anyway?"






 

Aunt Net (Lynette) went straight for the heart by purchasing John's first servings of Chocolate pudding.  It and SHE were a BIG hit as well!  

Blog written Dec. 29th by John's Grandmother Menefee...

Let me share as briefly as I can about our little John. To emphasize the "little", make a circle with your third finger and your thumb. That's how big his legs are. Muscles just bulge under the calf and he is so strong but as the Dr. says, he needs the fat around the muscle! 

Laurie's observation is spot on when she says he isn't  afraid of anything but he isn't risky. Example: On the playground, he loved the little slide but the big slide was a bit too much. Jaime {Uncle Jaime} began by putting him part way up and showing him how he could go down by himself. After two or three times, Jaime "raised the bar" until he was about 3/4 of the way up and coming down alone. We had to take his hand off the edge and he went down sideways but he was a proud boy! Learning to do things by himself really pleases him.

Playing with John was like playing with an infant because everything is new. Things like "patty cake" and nursery rhymes used in play are not unusual things for a 2 year old but it is for him. He laughed out loud when we "rolled" the patty cake and threw it in the pan! There are a couple of "riding toys" he has and I put him on the seat of one of them. He thought that was a good idea and after I put him on and helped him off about 3 times he began getting on by himself. He might hold up a hand for you to help steady himself but he was SO proud! I began throwing a ball to him when he was on the seat; he would get off and go get the ball so we could do it again but still has to learn how to throw it...or roll it for that matter! He is all boy. He loves anything that makes noise and he loves interaction which I'm sure he didn't see much of in the orphanage.

John's funniest thing is that he likes to play his version of "Simon Says" {and he is always “Simon”}. He begins by tapping the top of his head with his finger to see if you copy that. This is a sort of greeting he does when he meets someone... like asking, "Are you my friend?" He began doing other gestures, {clapping his hands is usually his next move}, crossing his arms, throwing an arm sideways etc. And the "game" is for you to imitate his motions. It really tickles him and makes him feel like "the leader". 

Sadly, in talking with Laurie last night (Dec. 28^th), she said John had a real meltdown after we left. He woke from a nap and cried hard for an hour...more grief. It makes me feel like I need to go right back to show him we haven't left him for good.

He doesn't throw toys as much as he used to so Ron maybe right in saying it is an anger issue. (He also did it in the orphanage and Ron said they used to put his toys up where he couldn't get them.) {Another sign of his grief was that} when he ate supper last night he threw his food more than usual so it may be anger or frustration {a way to work out his feelings of being left since his company went home}.   

Dec. 11th Leaving Hong Kong for the US...

     We spent the night in Hong Kong in preparation for our flight out the next day.   Being able to drink the water, shower without goggles and brush our teeth without boiling the water first was a treat.   Ron was able to connect with a dear friend from MBA School who has lived in Hong Kong for 20 years.  He took some great photos of downtown Hong Kong and promised to write a blog entry about his experience.  

     You may be surprised to hear that there were a lot of Christmas decorations up all over China.  Decorated trees, outdoor lights, piped in Christmas music and pictures of Santa Claus were plentiful. 

.    

On the one hand, it felt like a taste of home and on the other hand it felt empty without a single visible nativity.  While in the Hong Kong airport there were several wonderful displays.

  However,   when we arrived there was a beautiful rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus playing over the speakers and I was suddenly, utterly homesick.  

      John was amazing on the flight home.  He is a patient boy even though he is a bit stubborn.   He was a real hit as he and I walked up and down the aisle to stretch.  He doesn’t have any personal space issues and would walk right up to a person in order to grab their reading material.  Of course I tried to prevent these incidents but was not always successful. 

 

     A Chinese man who sat right behind us took an interest in John.  As we talked, he mentioned that he had traveled all over the Henan province where John is from.  He said that the farmers in that province are very poor.   He mentioned that John was clever and quick.  When I asked what caused him to say this, he mentioned that he had been watching John in the airport.  He saw how fascinated John was with the walking sidewalk, etc.   Hearing this from one of his countryman seemed like he was blessing John and it touched me. 

   

     In general the Chinese people were very taken by John.  They seemed to understand him instantly and to receive who he is and who they expect him to become all at once.   I am guessing they grieve a bit when they see their children adopted out of their country.  And it is sad.  Ron insightfully mentioned when we arrived in San Francisco and were enjoying being back in our U.S. culture that John was now the uncomfortable one.  He is used to seeing almost only Chinese faces, smelling garlic and fish cooking,  etc.  Now he is a U.S. citizen!   We trust that in time he will thrive in his new environment.   And we are committed to doing all we can to insure that this will happen.  

Welcome to your new home, John!  We’ve been waiting for you for so long!  Welcome home!!! 

Dec. 10th - last day in China...

This is entry is not sequential – however someday we want John to know the details of our China trip so I am compelled to write these last entries of our trip… 

                Since both Ron and I were sick our last day in China, we decided to stick close to the hotel in preparation for the trip ahead.  We ventured out to the local shops where I finally discovered the Starbucks that I had heard rumors about.  Personally, I think John felt very comfortable there much to his father’s dismay.  

                John seemed to know that something was up as we packed up our things.  He wanted a little more reassurance than usual.   Saying good-bye to our CCAI ‘s (our adoption agency) representatives was bitter sweet.  I would have loved more time with them to talk about their personal life, beliefs, etc.  In the photo, you will see Grace on the left and Maggie on the right.  

Grace especially has that rare combination of being very good with details and very good with people.  She is in a perfect job fit and blessed up a ton by being organized and approachable.  

As we rode in a van to Hong Kong, we had brought John’s backpack filled with small toys we had gotten for him in the US.  It occurred to me that these were the first “possessions” he had ever owned – not that they were in themselves very special.    He came to us with three layers of clothes on – most of which didn’t fit him right and three disposable cameras we had sent over to orphanage in the last several months in hopes they would provide some pictures to help with his history.  

Oh John…if you only could comprehend what you now “own” as a result of your adoption.  You not only have a forever Mom and Dad…but a whole family!  You have grandparents who already love you – Aunts and Uncles who have faithfully prayed for you- cousins who want to hold you and talk with you.  And you have your mother and father’s dear friends who want to be your “adopted Aunts and Uncles”.    You are a very, very rich boy…with only a backpack full of toys.   May you feel secure in the love we have for you…since it is from Jesus, it will never change.  We love you, dear son! 

Dec. 9th - reflection...

Video of John at an outdoor playground.

Dec. 9^th

This week I have been reading a devotional book on being a Mom.  God has used especially one of the short messages to support and encourage me as Ron and I begin our new life with John.   The thought expressed in the book relates to the impossible task of being the “perfect mom”.   The author suggests dropping the perfection standard and instead focusing on the fact God chose you to be the mother of your child. 

   

This thought ministers to me in a number of ways…first of all, no matter how adequate or inadequate I feel to be the mother of a Chinese boy, I know God has called me to this role.  Likewise, since God has called me to this role, He will equip me to do the job.  Being reminded of this fills me with a deep sense of freedom and peace…it reminds me of the first time I understood 2 Peter 3-5, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires”.   Understanding from this verse that God had already given me what I need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him took some pressure off.  It freed me to enjoy walking with God.   And I think it applies to the devotional that I read earlier in the week.  

I do still have fears.  I don’t know the path ahead…what will be the long-term consequences of John’s abandonment?  How will the 15 months of neglect on the 2^nd floor of the orphanage affect him?  What are the outcomes of his long-term malnutrition?  

What I do know is that I love this little boy.  And I am grateful that God saw fit to put him in our lives. 

Flying Home...

Ron, John and I are rapidly packing in order to fly out of Hong Kong this morning (Sat. Dec. 11^th @ 12:52 China time – 15 hours ahead of Mt. time).   So much to say…John has done amazingly well – 3 cities, 3 hotel rooms, one 4 hour car ride…and now for the big summit we are leaving for a 15 hour flight to San Francisco.    When the plane lands, John becomes a US citizen…YEA!!!

Please pray for all of us…I bronchitis and the antibiotic that I have taken has not helped much.  Ron is getting over a sinus infection and John has fluid in his ears due to his cleft.  So, you get the picture…Actually please pray for John, I think he is confused as he has wanted us to hold him more since we left Guangzhou.  Of course we love holding him…and we have to pack.  I don’t want him to be afraid but to feel protected and safe that we are not going to leave him.  He is such a gift!  A wonderful boy!

Also I posted several blogs with fun pictures

Dec. 8th - the US oath and Ice Cream...

Wed. Dec. 8^th

Today Ron and I took an oath on John’s behalf at the US Consulate.   This experience was anti-climatic at best…picture 33 families with children they have known for 1 ½ weeks waiting for 1 ½ hours in a lobby that reminds me very much of every DMV office in every state that I have lived in.  (Sorry…maybe I am getting tired…)   After the taking the 30 second oath, each family exchanged official paper work with a clerk and we were back on the bus to the hotel. 

Earlier in the day, our adoption agency set up the famous “red couch” photo session where all the children being adopted in our travel group wear traditional Chinese outfits and take a picture together.  We got a cute one of John and his fellow orphanage friends .  The 16 kids in our travel group 

 John and his “best boy” Nathan Johnson

;  and one of our family

.  We took about 10 of the whole group and not one of them is close to turning out so hopefully someone else in the group captured the moment better than we did. 

The Johnson’s leave early tomorrow morning so we enjoyed a last dinner with them and then ice cream for dessert.  We were told that kids from Chinese orphanages typically don’t like cold food items when they first taste them since they probably have not ever tasted cold food.   So we wanted to test whether John was going to like ice cream.  I bought chocolate and gave him a taste of it.  He at first looked puzzled but indicated he wanted more.  By the third spoonful, he got hooked - so much for the proposed notion of one bite for him and one for me.  John grabbed my arm when its motion was clearly not intended for his mouth and I knew exactly what he wanted – no communication gap when it comes to ice cream.   

Dec. 7th - First McDonald’s Happy Meal…

Our guide took us shopping in a main area in Guangzhou.  Since there was a McDonald’s many of us took the opportunity to take our kids for their first “Happy Meal”.  (see photo below) We captured this photo of Nathan Johnson and John sharing the moment.

One thing I have loved is how quickly the Chinese shop owners/ workers pick up on clues of the personality traits of kids.  Several have commented about John …they say, “he is a busy boy…boys are busy”; and “he is very quick” (meaning the speed at which he reaches for something); and “his large forehead means he is a clever boy”.  Actually all these observations are true so far.  Last night we had dinner with a couple from Taiwan who is in China for business.  They are in their late 60’s or early 70’s.  Krista, the older woman was cooing at John from across the table.  In response, he put he put his hands over his eyes for a make-shift “peek-a –boo”.  Later in the evening, Krista came to our room to share some cold medicine.  Upon seeing her again, John repeated his make-shift “peek-a –boo” routine.  Great delight was had by all. 

John loves to dig in the trash in our hotel room.  Yesterday, after the room had been cleaned, he was disappointed to find nothing in his favorite trash can in the bathroom.  In order to fix the problem, he put his stuffed bear into it, looked up and smiled at us! 

John was full of energy last night at what we thought would be his bed time.  So, we took him down to the lobby for some room to walk in order to wear him out.  It was clear that he wanted to walk up and down the stairs.  Something that we guess he has not done very often.  After holding my hand going down, he seemed to want to try going up on his own.   He quickly changed to crawling mode in order to get up the stairs.  Then he grabbed my hand and tried the typical both feet one step kind of walking appropriate for small legs.  This satisfied him until he stopped and intently watched several grown-ups walk the steps.  After which he took our hands and tried to mimic the walking behavior he had observed – one giant step with only one foot on a stair.  Fortunately, he wore out before we did. 

As you are probably picking up, we think he is a ton of FUN!!!