update on John's surgery...

Dear Friends and Family,

We found out from our adoption agency on Friday that the children having the cleft lip surgery at our orphanage are being taken over to the hospital in groups of two.  This means that only two kids each week will be in the hospital, so that there are only two nannies at a time away from the orphanage.

John wasn't in the first group taken to the hospital.  But our adoption agency has asked that John be placed in the next two-person group so that he can fully recover before we pick him up.  He may be having surgery as early as tonight (Sunday evening) or tomorrow night our time.

Please pray that John's surgery goes well and that God would give wisdom and skill to the medical personnel doing the surgery and treating John.

Please also pray that John recovers quickly enough so that his surgery doesn't delay our being able to go pick him up.  We have prayed for months that we could travel with our good friends, Keith and Rhonda Johnson (who are adopting a baby boy from the same province), and we are so hoping that John's surgery won't prevent this from happening.

Blessings,
Ron and Laurie

P.S.: Thank you for your prayers for John this past week, as we all thought his surgery happened a week ago last Thursday-Friday.  We and our adoption agency were misinformed by the people from his orphanage as to what was happening.  We did not find this out until late Friday afternoon – as you can imagine, we can’t wait to be in charge of his medical care. 

  

God as John's perfect parent...lessons I am learning from a surprise surgery

On Oct. 20^th, we received an e-mail from our adoption agency in Denver stating that our son had been chosen as an excellent candidate for a program called “Tomorrow Program” run by the Ministry of Civil Affairs in China.  The program sends surgeons to orphanages to do selective cleft lip repair.  There were 6 children chosen from John’s orphanage.

Initially, Ron and I were not in favor of having John’s cleft lip surgery completed in China.  Ron was fearful that the outcome would not be suitable long-term.  I just didn’t want my son to have an operation without me to be there to take care of him afterwards.  I pictured John alone in the hospital without anyone advocating for his needs and it made me cry. 

However, after several clarifying conversations with our adoption agency we realized that Ron and I did not really have a vote in John getting the surgery.  Until we can travel to China, Dang Shi Jie (John) officially belongs to the state and they have legal right over his medical care.  This was so hard because it will likely be only 4 weeks before we get to travel to bring John home.  We have done everything needed to legally be his parents – but we do not officially have that title. 

 

Our adoption agency assured us that one of the nanny's from the orphanage would stay with the children as they are in the hospital for a week.  It was humbling to realize that although I feel like John’s mother, he does not know me yet.  And that it would actually be more comforting for him to have a nanny he knows at his side in the hospital rather than me.  I trust this preference will change quickly once he comes home with us. 

So what is God teaching me through this?  He is teaching me that John is His.  Even though I will soon play the part as his mother, that John has a heavenly parent that is watching out after him.  Realizing this will help squelch my desire to control, to protect John from pain, to decide what does and doesn’t happen to him. 

Thank you, Lord that you know what is best for John.  Teach me to trust you to be His perfect parent. 

Lifesong for Orphans - Both Hands Workday

Take a peek at the video of our Both  Hands Workday. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PzWo1GesYE

If you are interested in donating (no pressure), donations are still being taken at http://lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html

why we named our son John

Since Ron and I have been married, we have called our “hoped for” children by our middle names – our hoped for daughter, we called Jane and our hoped for son, we called John.  We promised each other when we really were adopting our children that we would decide then whether or not to keep these names. 

                During Advent (preparing for Christmas) in 2009, we had been waiting for a match for a domestic adoption for almost a year.  I had recently been reminded by a friend that being older is a huge disadvantage in domestic adoption – birth mom’s are usually very young and they choose who they want to parent their child.   At our age, we seemed like their grandparents. 

Now, for me, age is a sensitive subject since it is not something that can be changed.  I was sad and losing hope as I sat down for a time of prayer and reflection.  Due to the season, I was drawn to read the birth narrative in the gospel of Luke.  Being re-introduced to the parents of John the Baptist, the descriptors that Luke used jumped off the page, “But they (Zechariah and Elizabeth) had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years (Luke 1: 7 – emphasis mine).   What occurred to me is that several times in scripture, including here, that God gave very special children to older parents. 

  

Later in the passage, Zechariah names his special son, John.

Fast-forward…in December 2009, Ron and I received a referral of Shi Jie Dang (now our John).   We looked through the information we received about him, sought medical advice, and prayed.  Before long, God confirmed in our hearts that this little boy – just over a year old – was to be our son.   Now that we had a real son, we needed to decide on his name.  We talked briefly about it and decided to think and pray separately.  A few days later, I asked Ron what his thoughts were regarding a name for our son.  He had just turned on the TV and seen a scene from the Jesus Film, based on the gospel of Luke.    The scene was when Zechariah named his son, John.   

After sharing our thoughts with our parents, we were reminded that on the Menefee side, our son’s great grandfather Menefee was named John.  And on the Besonen side, both of our son’s great grandfather’s were named John.  

Finally, the name John means “beloved”.  And Jie, John’s Chinese middle name, which we are keeping, means “outstanding person”.  It is our deepest hope that John will know he is loved and that through that foundation, he will also be an “outstanding person”. 

Both Hands Project...

Our Both Hands project took place on a beautiful, fall Oct. day in CO.  The weather was just perfect for working outside with highs in the 60s.  At the last minute God blessed us with all the workers we needed – 17 adults and 8 children.  Our project manager split everyone up into 3-4 work teams.  The teams were efficient in completing their work.  By the afternoon, a number of the workers had to go home but we still had enough of us to finish the last project, which was to paint the newly repaired fence.   We were able to get all the work done before the weather changed and brought a few sprinkles of a rain shower.

Suzi, our widow, and her boys were incredibly appreciative of all we did.   The boys kept saying of the new play area that we built, “I don’t like it, I LOVE it!”    At the end of the day, Suzi hugged all of us and said a wonderful prayer of blessing for us.  

We are working on getting the video edited and hope to have it by the end of the week. My sister and bother-in-law are using a computer program that is new to them to put it together.  

One thing we experienced is that God provided in unexpected ways, through people that we didn’t know.   And through people we do know.  We were grateful for last minute food donations to the project and as stated above people who agreed to come at the last minute.   Also our church gave a donation to help pay for the building materials – this was a huge relief!

We also want to thank everyone who has so generously donated to our Both Hands Project.  The money raised has significantly contributed toward fulfilling the rest of John’s adoption costs and making his homecoming a reality.  So far the project has almost generated the amount needed to for our $5,000 matching gift.  Our goal is to raise another $3,000.  

Enclosed are some still shots of the beginning of the project…we will upload the video when it is completed.