Red Folder

Today we received the cherished “red folder” , which makes us John’s legal parents. Our group of parents let out a loud cheer at this declaration and the kids, not realizing the importance of the moment, just sat watching quietly.

Rhonda Johnson (long-time friend from Campus Crusade) and I were talking about our boys and the speech therapy that is ahead of them. We both teared-up as she mentioned that if they had stayed in China without the medical care they need on their cleft palates that they may never have learned to speak effectively. This acknowledgement reminds me of the significance of this day for all of us.

At the same time, I am reminded in a fresh way, why adoption is sometimes called “a triangle of grief”.
One of the parents from Indiana is a speech therapist and works with early intervention programs. She
and her husband had previously adopted a Chinese daughter with cleft palate and this time they are
adopting a boy with cleft palate. She mentioned to me that when we arrive in CO, we ought to check
out the early intervention programs for our son – and specifically due to his size, she thought he would
qualify for nutritional help.

There are three children from John’s orphanage – all significantly under-weight. However, John is the
oldest and the smallest of the bunch. I can’t explain all of why it hurts me so that he has not received
the necessary food his body needs. Perhaps it is because it is so preventable; perhaps because
feeding a child a “balanced diet” is linked with nurturing...although I am not sure all the reasons, I have
experienced grief that we have not had John since birth. And at the same time, I am so glad we have
him now!!!